A few years ago, I took our dog to the vet. For weeks, he had not been acting quite like himself. I debated whether or not to take him to be seen because I couldn't decide if he was really sick. After the vet examined him, I discovered that he was actually very sick. He was sick enough that he passed away a couple of weeks later.
Why hadn't it seemed so bad to me? This was a dog that I had known really well.
What the vet said next has stuck with me ever since. She told me that we hadn't noticed how bad his illness was because he was keeping it from us. His instinct was to act like everything was okay so that he wouldn't get eaten by a predator. Survival of the fittest was his default instinct, even though he was living his best life in the safety of our home.
Hiding Our Weakness
While we are not wild animals, we humans do this as well. We are not necessarily worried about getting eaten by a predator. But, we are worried about how other people will perceive us in our weaknesses. So, often, we pretend like life is going well when it really isn't that great.
Earlier this year, I was diagnosed with a chronic illness that has turned my world upside down. I have always been a high-functioning person who prides herself on efficiency, having a great memory, and abundant energy. However, my disease has changed all of that. As a way of coping, I have tried to hide my weaknesses and pretend everything is okay.
Through trying to hide, God is exposing me to His truths. He has shown me that my life is designed, so I can't live without Him. I have always known this on some level, but now I have no choice but to live it out.
A God Who Sees
The Lord has used the people in my life to show me that He sees me. Through the unsolicited prayers from other moms in CCA Mom's in Prayer group and the small things my husband does daily to make my life easier, I know God sees me. When I ask Him why I must go through this, He simply replies, "I see you, and I love you."
Hagar experienced this too. After being shunned and pushed out of town by the woman who caused her to carry an unwanted pregnancy, God came to her in the desert. He told her of His plan for her and her unborn child. He saw what was happening to her and made His plans to care for her known.
So she called the name of the Lord, who spoke to her, "You are the God of seeing." She said, "Truly here, I have seen him who looks after me." Genesis 16:13
Each Day Has Enough Trouble of Its Own
Early in my diagnosis, I worried about how I could physically keep moving forward. Every step felt like a chore. I couldn't imagine how much harder things would get 10, 20, or even 30 years down the road. I was worried about my future.
God never promised us more than just the moment we are living currently. He is in charge of each of our heartbeats, each time we breathe in and out, and how much energy we have each day. He even knows the number of hairs we have on our head! Nothing is hidden from Him. Therefore, we are not to worry about what the future holds. We are to trust the one who holds the future in His hands.
Jesus knew that we would worry about the future. He specifically addressed it in the Sermon on the Mount.
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:34
We Are But Jars of Clay
Many days, I am plagued by how weak and tired I feel. Yet, God continues to remind me my body is just a container for my soul. Even though I am weak, He is strong. He has given us His gift of eternity and stored it in our weak human bodies.
I have meditated often on these verses in 2 Corinthians. The God of eternity put His power within our weak human flesh. Our bodies are fragile, jars of clay that are easily broken. But His all-surpassing power somehow fits within us and directs our steps through the Holy Spirit.
But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed. 2 Corinthians 4: 7-9
Be encouraged if you are hiding the truth of what is really going on in your life. We serve a God who sees us and cares for us. He encourages us to cast our burdens on Him, to allow Him to carry them, and to allow Him to care for us. Even though we are weak, He is strong.
Andrea Wadley, MD, is a local pediatrician and owner of 127 Pediatrics. She is the mother of a CCA 4th grader and loves the CCA community.
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