Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak whispers the o'er-fraught heart and bids it break. ~ William Shakespeare
For an adult, grief is all-encompassing. The loss of a loved one permeates your whole being. It is hard to go about your daily routine. Practically everything in life triggers mourning in different ways. It is hard to celebrate the traditional holidays like Christmas, but normal routines for school, sports, or vacations are also painful.
For a child, grief is intermittent and death is difficult to understand. A child’s grief is very near sighted and they will tend to worry about their immediate needs. They may think death is temporary and may believe the loved one will return later.
The natural tendency is for adults to protect children from the harshness of death. In an effort to shield children from the pain, adults avoid speaking about the death or use vague language. “Grandma passed away” or “Mom is no longer with us”. Actually, Grandma died.
Here are a few things you need to know to help your child grieve:
Children learn more from what we model than from what we say. When grieving with a child, give them permission to cry, to laugh, to play, and to return to the everyday normal routine of their lives. Do this by giving yourself permission to do so also.