What can depression look like during adolescence?
Adolescence is a time of tremendous change. Pre-teens and teenagers are working toward a growing need for independence and discovering who they are in relation to the world around them. Their bodies are growing and changing due to the hormones that come with puberty. They are caught in the time between childhood and adulthood which causes a specific set of emotions. This can make your once quiet home a more difficult place to navigate.
Your adolescent is trying to test boundaries and leave behind the days of childhood while still tethered to parents and family. You may not be sure which person you will encounter in any given period of time. Being consistent in your child’s life will help them to develop their independence while continuing to be rooted in the positive force of your love and safety.
As a parent, it is often difficult to decide if your teen is experiencing normal ups and downs or something that requires more evaluation. Transient depression and anxiety, sleeping more during growth spurts, increasing or decreasing appetite, moodiness, desire to be with their friends more than their family, and gravitating towards a beloved pet for comfort rather than a parent are all normal behaviors.
Situational depression can be normal during adolescence:
- Young people feel big emotions when something bad has happened in their life.
- A seemingly innocuous wrong committed against them could shatter their self esteem for a period of time.
- The part of the brain that regulates emotions does not fully mature until well beyond the teenage years.
- It may also be the first time that they have experienced the situation that they are involved in. They don’t have the past memories to fall back on to know that these things happen and you can move beyond them.
As a parent, it is important for you to be their anchor during this time. Your availability to listen and reassure can help them connect their situation with the reality of life.
There are times when depression is more concerning:
- Feeling down most days of the week
- Losing interest in hanging out with friends, going to social events, not wanting to go to school
- Eating more often (hiding food) or not eating much at all, noticeable difference in weight over a period of time
- Disturbed sleep, sleeping more or sleeping less, waking up in the middle of the night and not being able to go back to sleep
- Visibly moving slower or moving in an agitated way (noticeable to friends and family)
- Extreme tiredness or lack of energy to do basic daily activities
- Expressing feelings of worthlessness, social media posts that involve dark subjects or actions
- Inability to concentrate, failing classes, forgetting homework, skipping classes
What to do when your child says they want to kill themselves?
Every parent’s worst nightmare is to hear these words come out of their child’s mouth. The first thing to do is to be calm and listen to your teen. Understand what those words mean to them. Do they have an active plan? Do they know specifics about how to carry out their plan? If the answer is yes, you must take them seriously and act quickly. The best and safest place for your child is the emergency room where the professionals can help you determine what to do next.
Some teens say these words but don’t have an actual plan to carry out their actions. A response is required, but is less of an emergency. Now is the time to explore with them what it is that is causing them to feel this way and see if you can reassure or re-frame events for them.
Making a verbal or written safety plan with your teen is the first step towards keeping them safe. Part of the plan should include who they will call for help if they are feeling suicidal. You should also make your home environment as safe as possible. Guns should be locked up and ammunition stored separately. Liquor cabinets and medicine cabinets should be secured. Their room and their car should be inspected for weapons, substances, etc.
Always ask for help if you need it. A medical professional can support you and help you make a safety plan for your teenager. They can also be a safe outlet for your teen to share intimate feelings with someone other than you.
Personally, dealing with some of this caused me to cling to;
Proverbs 22:6, “Train up a child in the the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.”
And Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
God loves your child even more than you ever could. His plans and ways are higher than ours even when they are hard for us to understand.
Author's bio: Andrea Wadley loves Jesus, her family, adventure and caring for kids in our community. She is a pediatrician and owner of 127 Pediatrics. She is the wife of Ron and the mother of Ruby who is a Kindergartener at CCA this year.
References:
https://www.uptodate.com/contents/overview-of-prevention-and-treatment-for-pediatric-depression
